Here is the thing ladies and
gents. My pregnancy was HELL! Srsly! I was so sick. I was in and out of the Dr.
Office. The Hospital. The emergency room. A different Hospital. A specialist.
Getting IV's, meds after meds, home remedies, and I still threw up (the
entire time) I would pass out with no notice, I lost weight day after day
(Until 32 weeks), I was DE-HY-DRA-TED! To the max! I was getting transfusions.
I could go on... but you get the drift. ANY WHO. Every time I see a sweet
picture of my brand new baby boy, or new babies in the hospital. I MELT!! I
loved having my wittle baby!! I loved my labor. Although towards the end my
Epidural was only on half my body- my nurse was AMAZING, my Doctor was so friendly and informative, my friends and family were there
with me just chatting (mean while I couldn't stop laughing- mostly the drugs-
but also mostly because I was just there peeing myself. and no one knew... okay
okay it was because they broke my water. but still. to me. HILARIOUS).
Jaiden
was the best baby. I know everyone says that about their kids, but he never
cried, he was a great eater -still is (rolls.onrolls.onrolls.), he was the
perfect traveler, he had to get a heel prick every day for 3 weeks because of
his Jaundice levels and towards the end he didn't even cry about it! I mean
come on. People would always tell me "This is not normal" he was just
calm! But always had a scowl on his face.
And it was so funny. He glared all the time!
Of course he still smiled, and the first time I
heard him laugh- I cried! 
But just all the memories I have of him, good always
outweighing the bad, I loved my little babe. And I’m always telling Ivan “I
wish I was pregnant, I wish we were having another baby” And then we go out to
eat. And our little Jaider bug needs to be on the table, on the ground, eating
what we’re eating, eating things who knows where he found, talking to people at
the other table- in these moments I thank the good Lord we only have ONE
handful to share our attention with. I love Jaiden more than I thought I could love
anything or anyone. And I can’t wait for the day that we can give him a little
brother or sister but until then, I’m grateful to be a mom of one. Jaiden’s
mom. And Jaiden is my best friend. We learn from each other daily.
There are
always things everyone can work on in every aspect of their life. When I found
out I was pregnant I wrote down my ‘Never Ever Will Do this List’ and for me it
was things I never wanted to do as a mom. Simple things like, never leave without
saying I Love You and giving him a kiss, Never yelling, Never EVER under any circumstance hitting (spankin’
included), Never talking down to him- cutting his self esteem ect. Simple
things that mattered to me. I read over these all the time just to keep them
fresh on my mind and although he does raise my blood pressure occasionally, I’m
so thankful and PROUD of myself that I have stayed true to this list. It’s so
important to me that Jaiden remembers me getting on his level, playing in his
make belief world, laughing, letting him be the leader. I know what it’s like
to have memories other than those, and I don’t want that for Jaiden.
This is all pretty scattered brained, I know. But
these are things I’ve never really said to many people. Publicly: I am eternally
grateful for my Jaiden Ezekiel Rodriguez. I hope I make him proud, and I will
love him forever and always.
I love you cuddly fry. - Love mom.
